Uncovering The Sacred

Uncovering the Sacred, is my life statement and I am thrilled to share it with you.  It is the result of my journey with Michelle Stewart of Detail Photography and her Therapeutic Photography program.  (See below for more information on Michelle's work.)

The Invitation
A Facebook friend was sharing some most amazing photos and had a connection to the horses. As with many FB friends we had never met but had multiple similar shared experiences. My intuition told me to ask if she would like to connect for a coffee. We lived close to each other.  So, I did and we did. Much resonated and after learning about the idea of therapeutic photography a seed was planted. And that seed continued to grow, and grew to the point where it pushed and pushed at the soil along my path.  I questioned my inner knowing but it had already made up its mind and heart to share in this offering.  I asked and said yes to what was to be and still is a soul-opening, heart expanding and body awakening experience. ​

The Question
What Am I Uncovering?

First, I had to do a bit of soul searching. Asking some deep pondering questions to get to the essence of what I wanted to come across in the portraits. What do I love doing and lose myself when doing it?
The other day I was asked to host ceremony with the horses and a family. It was beautiful and I was authentic. I could feel myself shining. I let my heart speak and could hear myself and I loved her. It is moments like this and shared times with my dogs and the horses where I lose myself. It is also when I write and share myself with others on my own terms. I am a wisdom sharer. That is the woman I want to uncover. In nature, with my animals on my own terms, fully sacred. Stepping into the next stage of my life honouring who I am.

I am not changing who I am, I am transforming how I express who I am.

The vision. My land. Where I will live, share, hold ceremony for myself, those close to me and those that wish to share the land and energy of it with me. This is home!   In writing this it feels like I want to be lost in or surrender to myself!   That voice within is whispering a few more instructions at the moment that I am building up the courage to put in place. All will happen at the right and ready time.  And that is what I want to come across in a portrait. No small feat for sure. ​

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The Armour
Who am I? I am more than one outfit.
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What is armour? To protect and define. What do I wear on the outside? What does one wear to a photo shoot that is being done to define them in images? To show their essence.  
Looking through all of my outfits I realized that I am all of those outfits. Depending on the circumstance. Right time, right place. It didn’t matter what I wore really. I came to this realization as I went through this part of the process. For this whole thing is a process. Not just a snap-click moment. It was a process, meant to dig down deep and extract YOU. Although, I really like what I chose to wear. It was my essence. It represented me well. It was fun and vibrant and that is me. Really though, you could be wearing anything (or nothing). If you show up in your own skin you are exactly who are meant to be. ​

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The Moments Captured
Gracious – Showing up as me

It didn’t matter what I was wearing. I showed up as me. I relaxed into the moment with the horses and nature and it felt good and right. Free, not even knowing camera was there. I found myself dancing like I did when I was a child. I found myself getting clarity on things that eluded me for a long time. I found myself having fun and laughing. I found myself going deep within to spend moments with the depths of my soul.

I realized I was not trying to change who I am. I just wanted to transform what I am doing to express that. And that was a massive realization.
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Gracious is a deeply meaningful word for me. Someone told me once that my father was a gracious man. He was 94. That in itself is a legacy. What will my legacy be?

​The Development
Dirt in my nails

When I got home, I realized I had dirt under my nails.  That was a special moment for me. Seems odd, doesn’t it? Let me explain. When I left my farm of 20years what I wanted most was to have clean fingernails. After years of dirt, albeit wonderful dirt, I wanted a chance to experience having proper feminine nails. Not too much to ask really. And I got them.
But when I got home after this photo session my nails were just like they had been before. Time spent with the horses in close reflective contact had brought me full circle. And it felt good and right. Twenty years later I was back where I wanted to be. Time away was necessary but this clue brought me right back to those shared moments with the horses and nature. Settled, in my heart!

The Revelations
What is constant? What changes?

I received the photos the other day. And, to be brutally honest and human, I looked at them with judgement. Not of the photos, they're amazing. But of myself.  My hair, my choice of armour, my this, my that. But I stayed with them. I kept going back to spend time with them and something wonderful happened. I started to see something else. I saw a woman and a horse (or 2) having a heart conversation. A photo doesn’t’ speak on the surface. It speaks to the heart. It calls to the soul.
 
As I spend more and more time with the photos that captured such magic I see an unbreakable connection that spans time and space. I see a soul that is fully at peace and has regained clarity of vision. I see hearts speaking to each other with a familiarity of knowing that has been there for eons.  Individuals recognizing the collective.  The revelations go beyond species and beyond earthly human needs.  There is pure energy from 2 beings made of love melding into one. 

What is constant? Who I am is constant. What changes? How I express who I am if I so wish.
 
Side revelation: Don’t ever, ever put your projections onto a photographer.  Yes, you are human and you will look at it with your head to start but stay there.  Take the time to truly see what is there. Your head will rarely see the beautiful connection and non-verbal communication in a photograph. That is the heart and soul that see those. A true and honest photo is just that. True and honest. Get past the judgement, stay with the image long enough to see the true you. Look at a photo with your heart. That is where you will find the deepest wisdom. ​

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The Lasting Magic
Lost and Found

Next day, I was booked to host ceremony with horses again. I wore my red skirt. I showed up in all my graciousness.  I showed up as me. It was glorious and I totally lost myself. And in losing myself I found myself.  How can a photo capture something lost? If you see it, it is no longer lost. Keep losing yourself and you will find more and more of yourself. And that is truly magical. ​

PART 2
The Next Challenge
Examining the Feel  

On to another session where I don’t have my dogs and the horses. Where I am me, defined and undefined. What do I wear to this one? We are going to a place that was a favourite space for my father. A university professor that loved ‘field trips’ right up until the end of his 94-year long life. This will be a place of memories, of wisdom and of love. What does one wear to that? It doesn’t really matter. I ask myself, am I trying to ‘look good’ for the camera?  What would I have worn to one of those field trips? It doesn’t matter, I realize. I will wear his favourite vest, as it always feels like a warm supporting hug when I wear it and that is the memory I want to feel there. We would go there and he would tell us about the rocks and wildlife there including the tiny wildlife. We would mostly learn about the fossils and the ancient history. So, field trip attire it is. That was an easy one. It’s about the feel not the ‘look’. Perhaps amongst those fossils and wrapped in a hug I will find some ancient wisdom from those in the past to guide me into my future. All in the present moment and captured in a timeless image. 

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The Uncovering
Unravelling the Unknown or the Known

What is now uncovered for me to tend to, care for and harvest? To be honest, I am having a hard time articulating this one. It is said that everything you need to know is inside of you.  My father always said, from his years as a biologist, ‘there is a world at your feet’.  As a child it meant look down at the ponds and puddles for there is a whole ecosystem there for you to see and learn about. As I grew older this phrase took on a whole new meaning. As I look at these beautiful photos, taken in a place that was so familiar to my father, and think there might be someone (magically) photo bombing them with signs of wisdom. Message: to look at the world at my feet and inside of me. That is all I need. What I need to know is right here. Hmmm, seems I have articulated it. Perhaps the world I have been looking for is right at my feet and looking back at me in the moments captured.

The Sacred
The Jewel of Who I Am

Spending time with the essence of these shots is what I have been doing and what I will continue to do for a long time. I have added some prints of them to my ever evolving ‘vision’ board. As I sat with it one day, I realized something was missing with the board. ME! I have had this framed board for many years and it evolves as I am drawn to make changes in my reality. I felt a bit silly when I looked at it and looked at these photos that truly captured who I am. It was a ‘lite bulb’ moment. I wasn’t on my board. MY BOARD and I was missing. I rectified that immediately and now I see who I am in that vision. I see what I am embracing. I see what I am sharing. The image of me holding that small piece of moss in my hands was the catalyst to understand what I am sharing and offering this world. I see the essence of how I am to do that. ​

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The Shift
Uncovering the Sacred

Accessing courage to envision the future.
Life ebbs and flows between analysis, assimilation and action. Each step is somewhere along the continuum. Each photo reveals my location between ebb and flow. I was looking for an ending. An answer. But this journey has helped me realize I’m not there yet. Stop looking for the ending. The sacred is right here, right now, right for me. Sometimes moving, sometimes resting, sometimes doing nothing. These captured moments in time helped me to see the Sacred in Me. When others tell me something about the sacred me, I don’t always see it. Sometimes I worry if I did see it, I would become arrogant. I know that is my own projection. When I mix those beautiful compliments with these beautiful photos, I start to see that sacredness. I see who that person is that is looking back at me. I see her graciousness, her kindness, her wisdom. I start to see what others see. There have been many synchronicities to go with the photos. I am re-righting (re-writing) my journey. I am keeping my essence. I will always show up as my best self. That is constant. How I share it with the world is a book worth writing and worth living. 

A Journey Through Images to the Self

And so now, in this present moment, I have travelled through the journey of these images of the self. I have uncovered so much of what is sacred in me. I have looked deep and found a deep knowing that was within me all along. I have connected with the past and future to find my place now.  

The journey is far from over and these images will hold wisdom and magic for me on my path forward.
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But for now, I have arrived at 'the end of my words'.

What is Therapeutic Photography?
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Check out Michelle's website for details. I highly recommend taking the time to chat with Michelle and booking a session. You will never look back. Do the work with the photos and you will come to meet yourself all over again. And you will love who you meet.

http://detailphotography.ca/​

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