Saying Hello

Learning More About Connection and Love

Not every connection looks the same but it is the varying multitude of strands between us that makes for an interesting journey.  We have unlimited ways of defining those strands and infinite perspectives when viewing them. This statement includes all of nature, human and non-human. If we start with the basic of connections, we learn more about how we interact in relation to others and how we can expand those perspectives for the sake of love. Let us start with Hello. An initial contact in our day or perhaps the first contact we have with another.
 
If I take a cue from my dogs, I see that each of them has a different way of saying hello to humans. They both read the energy of the person they are meeting.  If the connecting energy does not feel safe then they will retreat behind us, giving them space from that which feels uncomfortable. I would not say this is done in fear (although it can be if there is a threat) but a genuine intuitive feeling of yes or no. Once comfort is determined (generally in milliseconds for animals) they will each say hello in their own way. Our youngest will approach and touch her nose on the person’s hand. That’s it. That is hello for her. No pats are wished. She says hello and moves away. Is that wrong? No, that is her way. Is that a different perspective than what a human expects? Generally, yes. Our other dog will move in, if comfortable, and raise her head so pats are directed under her chin and along her side.  Note here: dogs don’t generally like to be pat on top of the head. But we have habitually done that for years. I do it, and I know better, but muscle memory takes my hand right there. Just imagine their perspective. Big creature leans in and goes to touch them on a very vulnerable area. I wouldn’t like that so why do it to a dog, another sentient being? There are many ways to approach a dog and much written about it. What is important here is our outlook towards the different ways of that initial connection with our friends. Is our young dog any less friendly than our older one just because they have different ways of connection? No. But humans tend to see it that way.  We hear comments like she is shy, timid, etc. No need to label her for doing something in her own way. That is just her form of expression for the connection of hello.
 
Now, let’s look to our equines for further perspectives on connection and the wisdom we can learn from them. In the work I do in the equine field we often see folks that have never had close contact with a horse. So, what is the way most humans expect to say hello? Touch. Similar to the pat on the head for the dog.  A touch on the neck or face for the horse is what is seen as a positive hello with a horse. So many times, it just doesn’t happen that way. A hand goes up and the horse moves away. A quick lesson here in equine communication. They read energy, our energy and that of the environment around them. They read body language for that is the world they live in. Not a verbal world but one of gut reactions, instant decisions on the best space to be, a world of reading the situation around them. When someone has a chance to be in the space of a horse, they learn quickly that connection is not what they assume it to be. When they release that expectation, they often find a moment of pure connection without touch. An energetic connection. They see that love can be expressed in different ways and hello can be said in new forms. We can then relate that back to our daily lives and see that not everyone’s perspective on how to connect are the same.  

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Let us put this all together for the human world and consider expanded ways of viewing connection and ultimately love.
 
We have been taught as youngsters that there is a proper way to say hello in our varying cultures. As well there are different ways to say hello to the different ages within our cultures.   My children were both taught to shake hands and look someone in the eye when saying hello to a new person that was older than them. No matter what they felt about that person. We never factored that in to the hello. We never taught  the child to consider their own feelings in the interaction.  Let us look at another perspective; hugs. When working with a familiar group of people we often say hello with hugs. The first time I had someone gently refuse a hug, I was devastated. What had I done wrong?  Nothing, simply nothing. In fact, what had I done right? I offered respectful space for the other person to feel comfortable in saying that today wasn’t a good hug day for them.  So many ways to make connections and so many ways that make it comfortable for all involved including ourselves.
 
We can look to our dogs and see that perhaps some of our ways of saying hello to them are antiquated just like some of the ways we were raised to greet other humans. We can consider our energy and that of others. We can learn from animals and each other the varying ways of connection.  When a dog comes and gently gives your hand a sniff then moves away, we can consider that a beautiful hello from another species. When we are blessed to be in the presence of a horse, we don’t consider touch as an offering. We consider our own presence in the moment, quiet and gentle as the perfect hello. 
 
We can look to our own energy when making connection, taking a moment to breath, soften and offer compassion in that moment. We can have the courage to say no to a hello if we just aren’t feeling it that day.  Softly and kindly, not today.  We can say no when intuition tells us we aren’t feeling safe in that connection. Saying no is saying yes to our heart and body.
 
We learn what ways are respectful and honourable for another, human or non-human. Be it culturally or species specific. Have you ever asked a dog owner how their dog likes to say hello?
 
When we realize that not everyone’s connection is the same, we see that not everyone’s hello looks identical. It is the varying multitude of strands that connect us in the most beautiful of ways. When we hold unlimited viewpoints on connection then we see an infinite number of approaches to how we might express love.
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Perhaps a blessing offered that makes no judgment on what a hello looks like.
Hello, may your day be filled with grace and kindness!
Hello, may your heart feel the love offered by my heart!